Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock........

I am officially in Madonna overload mode and I love it. Her publicity machine has begun and it is plowing through the world FULL FORCE. If you don't care about my Main Diva Bitch then please disregard this entry. If you do care or are just the littlest bit curious then watch this, it's the teaser for her new album Hard Candy which comes out at the end of April........

Dirty 80's trash! This feels sooooooo vintage Madonna to me. I absolutely love it.

And 4 Minutes is definitely growing on me. I bought the single on iTunes and listened to it properly with my sexy Bose headphones.

The song made me wanna get up and dance my ass off.........like a classic good Madonna song should. Go give it a listen. I don't think you'll regret it.

Love you all. Peace.

P.S.: I promise to write a longer blog entry soon. I just had to post that video ;)

Happy Birthday Nena!

Today is my cousin Ana Milena's birthday. Everyone say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

Thank you.

Here's a pic of us waaaaaaaay back in the day. I know it's already up on my MySpace page, but I still get a kick out of it whenever I see it.

We were thoroughly enjoying the ride.

Also, I thought I'd share a little poem with all of you. I went to a party last night at a hipster bar in the East Village called The Annex. Everyone there acts like they're so damn cool and are so over New York and just couldn't care less about anything.......but I suffer through it all because the dj's usually play some pretty great music. And some of those hipsters put themselves together in the most stylish 'I don't care how I look' outfits ever. It's fabulously fascinating. Anyway, I was at The Annex with a bunch of friends celebrating my friend Chuck's birthday. So many birthdays!!! We were dancing, were were drinking, we were merry, it was lovely. OH! And Christian Siriano was there!!! THE winner of the fourth season of Project Runway!!!!!!!! I went to go say hi and congratulations to him with my friends Doug and Ashley and the only word to describe the encounter I can think of is.......AWKWARD. We went downstairs to his private area which was lit up with these insane lights. Then, we kinda just stood there. Yup. That is until Ashley said congratulations and such and I snapped out of my silly star-struckedness. Then I took a picture of him and Ashley and tried to get outta there as quick as possible. Here he is...

Fierce.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, back to my poem. I digress like it's my job. I went out last night and got home at 2am. I fell asleep around 3 and had to get up at 7 for work. YUCK. So....I'm a little tired. Here's my masterpiece of a poem....

I'm So Damn Tired

I'm so damn tired

haven't slept a wink

I'm so damn tired

I can't even think

My eyes are closing

I'm easing down

and now I'm dozing

in sleepy town

Oh no! Wake up!

I'm stuck at work

the boss might catch me

he'll go berserk!

Could drink some coffee

maybe slap my face

could down some hot tea

or even sniff some mace!

I must keep awake

stay alert in my head

but I just cannot fake

my desire for a bed.

MmHmm. Amazing, right? I wrote that when I got to work this morning around 8:30. When I read it over I almost had to erase it out of sheer embarrassment. It's terrible, yet it describes my sleepy stupor so perfectly......I could hardly form a sentence.

Ok, that's that. I love you all. Have a great Saturday! Peace.

Paul's blog!

Paul's blog is up! It's ridiculous. There's even a pic of him in the fat suit. Marvelous. Go check it out! It's under my list of other blogs to check out or at Paulflanagan.blogspot.com.

Keeping my chin up...

I'm pretty sure everyone who read my last little post has definitely been doing what I asked. I think I have definitely received all your positive vibes because I'm actually doing pretty well. Needless to say, I miss Paul like crazy, but I'll be ok. I think we can make this work! Even if he's gonna be gone for about 8 months. It's worth making it work.

Anyway, just so you all know, Paul is doing well. He's in York, PA right now rehearsing away. He's actually gonna be starting a blog of his own and when he does I'll add it to my list of other blogs to check out. There are sure to be tons of ridiculous pictures of life on the road. He even wears a fat suit in the show and said he definitely will be posting pics of it...I can't wait. I'll also try to get his schedule up on here soon so if any of you with kids (um...if any of you have kids) want to go see the show you can. I mean, even if you don't have kids you can go and check it out anyway. I'm sure he'd like that.

Back to the life of Jonny! Since Paul left I haven't done anything really exciting. On Tuesday, the day he left, I went back to his place after seeing him off and basically sat around and moped. I watched a lot of random TV shows like Scariest Places on Earth, A Haunting, and Destination Truth...you know, spooky cheesiness just to get my mind off my boo. I also cooked myself a HUGE pasta dinner which was absolutely delicious. Unfortunately, though, cooking it made me kinda sad because recently I have made all my dinners with Paul. Sitting alone at his dinner table was a little......rough. Haha. Sounds kinda silly, though, doesn't it? Anyway, my friend Ashley came up to stay with me and she instantly cheered me up.

The next day I had to work which was not so good. Sometimes working here at Chelsea Studios is the last damn thing I wanna do. Fortunately, the thought of working was much worse than the actual act of working. It really wasn't so bad. Even if it was crazy busy and I had a lot to do. I was even in a bit of a good mood! That's proof that your good vibes worked! After work, I went with my friend Saum to a bar next to work called The Black Door and had a few beers. It was a nice way to unwind after a hectic day. I tried to get home early cause I wanted to get to an audition the next day but I ended up staying out a bit later than planned.

Today, I slept in waaaaaaaay too late. I kept pressing the snooze button on my phone and when I finally woke up I realized it was already 11.....the audition was only till 2....shit. I got up and headed to the audition anyway just to try my luck. No luck. The audition was PACKED. Instead, Saum and I went to this cute Mexican restaurant called Arriba Arriba and had some sexy Mexican food. Since it 's the first day of Spring, we decided to walk a bit after lunch which was a great choice. It's crazy ass windy outside but it's a beautiful New York day. The type of day that'll brighten any boys spirits.

But now, here I am stuck at work. Hey, at least I'm making some money! I wrote down about 15 auditions into my planner so everyone send me some more good vibes, alright?! I wanna get back on stage! WOO!

Here are some random videos that cheered me up over the last few days. I hope you all like them...

Random Japanese Ridiculousness

That old lady who gets sprayed in the face? I almost peed. And the EMU????????? I did pee.

Madonna&Ellen

I love Madonna. I love Ellen. I'm starting to love this song. 'Nuff said.

True Blue

This is some CLASSIC Madonna 8o's wonderful intentional cheesiness and I love it. The song has become a little more meaningful to me these days, though. Aw......yeah yeah, corny I know. Pay close attention to the butt dance in the beginning, please. That is some amazing choreography there, folks.

Well, that's all for now. I love you all. Peace.

:(

Paul left today. I'm bummed. Boo.......

Send me some good vibes, please.

I love you all.

Epic blog...

I haven't written in a long ass time so here's a BIG MAMA of an entry. Everyone ready? Good!

Let's begin with Britney Houston, shall we?

Last Monday was Paul's last day off before he leaves for tour. He decided that since he was gonna have all of Monday off to nurse a hangover that we should go out Sunday night and have some crazy fun. I was all in. After work I joined Paul and a group of our friends at a bar called Vlada. Since it was Sunday there weren't that many people there. Vlada is usually a huge mess of over-dressed gay guys, their main girls, the random straight guy who gets forced to come along, the random "straight" guy who gets "forced " to come along, and the occasional drag queen. A lovely bunch. That Sunday, though, there was only one over-dressed gay guy (in a pair of skin tight shimmery gold pants), a few brave main girls, no straight or "straight" guys, and only ONE drag queen.......but that drag queen was all we needed. See, Miss Britney Houston was about to put on her weekly show at Vlada. We had no idea that there was a show happening that night, or especially what we were in for.

After having a few drinks, our rowdy bunch headed to the upper lever of Vlada where the show was gonna take place. We took our seats and waited anxiously for Miss Houston. Suddenly, the Emcee announced that it was finally time for The Britney Houston Experience.

And, yes....it was an EXPERIENCE.

She started her show with Britney Spears' new song Piece Of Me from her new album. BUT (and I mean BUT), Miss Houston did something Britney would never ever do......she sang it LIVE. LIVE, people!!!!!!!! And she sounded good!!!!!!! Plus, she was dancing her ass off and looking good at the same time. I love it! If you can sing, dance AND look hot for me at the same time you have most definitely got me hooked.

She also performed Beyonce's Get Me Bodied, Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know, and Fergie's Clumsy among other numbers. She even gave us some Bjork...for real. I love Bjork...she's almost up their with Madonna. She performed Bjork's I Miss You, which is a crazy fun song. Aside from being incredibly talented at dancing and singing, she also happens to be quite the comedienne. Watch out for her people, she going places.

Here's a little taste of Britney Houston. She made a video of Lil' Mama's hit Lip Gloss.....this video is a huge YouTube hit by the way.

Also....see that guy in the orange shirt in the beginning who flips his hair? Yup, that's definitely my boo. That's Paul.....looking gayer than ever. Haha! Kidding, babe, kidding ;) See if you can spot him in the rest of the video.

Ok! Enough of that, let's move on. On Monday, Paul and I had a great day off. We first went to this great restaurant in the Village called Red Bamboo. It's this vegetarian/vegan restaurant that serves soy chicken, beef, and fish. I absolutely love it. Especially since I've been vegetarian for about 4 months now. When I get a craving for some nuggets or something I head straight to Red Bamboo.

After eating, we started walking uptown from West 4th street. After a while of wandering around aimlessly, we decided we should try to go catch a movie. We headed to the movie theater at Lincoln Center and happened to pass by Barnes&Noble. Luckily, we noticed that Laura Bell Bundy, the star of Broadway's Legally Blonde, was gonna perform a few songs from her new album Longing For a Place Already Gone right at that Barnes&Noble at 7:30......it was 7:20. Amazing! We decided we couldn't pass up on an opportunity like that so we headed right up to watch her sing. We easily found some seats and a few minutes later we were being treated to some great country tunes by Ms. Bundy. She was charming, gorgeous, and sounded great. Paul even recorded her singing a song on his cell phone and I'm pretty sure it's his ringtone right now....ridiculous. By the way, does anyone remember the video I posted awhile ago of Laura Bell Bundy royally messing up the ending of a song from Legally Blonde? I regret putting that up now, as funny as it was. She totally made up for it.

I also noticed that the stars of Sunday In The Park With George, Daniel Evans and Jenna Russell, were gonna perform a few numbers from Sunday at Barnes&Noble the very next day. Since I've been in that show I definitely couldn't pass up that opportunity either. I went with my friend Saum, who was in the show with me, and my friend Evan from work. Daniel Evans and Jenna Russell actually performed as George Seurat and Dot in the London production of Sunday. I'm pretty sure they won Olivier awards for their performances. An Olivier award is basically the same thing as a Tony award. Needless to say, they were both pretty brilliant.

To close off the week in the most wonderful way possible, my sister came from Boston with her boyfriend, Chris, to come visit me! Well, actually, they came to watch a movie with me. One of my best friends from Brazil named Antonio Negret wrote and directed a movie called Towards Darkness. It was accepted into last years Tribeca Film Festival and opened this weekend at an independent movie theatre in the Village. My sister came down to watch the movie with me.

Now, let me first express how incredibly proud I am of Antonio. I met him when I was about 5 years old and we instantly connected. My family lived in Brazil for about 5 years and every single one of those years was made all the more special and unforgettable because of Antonio, his brother Daniel, and their parents Helen and Rafael. Antonio and Daniel were and still are brothers to me. Helen and Rafael are basically second parents. At least that how I see it, haha! I, along with my brother and sister, would spend just about each and every weekend with them. Most of my greatest memories from Brazil include the Negrets. Many of those memories involve us all making movies together. Classics such as Karate Of The Galaxy (which I actually didn't appear in because I had a bit of a tantrum over my characters name), or Martin, which was most defnitely about a killer kid....no joke.

Towards Darkness was fantastic. It's an intense, dizzying, scary, important film about kidnappings in Colombia. Right after the movie I went to a bar with my sister and Chris and we sat and discussed for awhile. We all had different opinions about certain ideas the film offered, which means to me that Antonio has something very special to say with this movie. I can't wait to see him again and be able to talk all about it....and also, of course, I just wanna see my buddy.

Please go see it if you get the chance.
Also, just for shits and giggles....here's the cover of Madonna's new album Hard Candy....

Bitch is gonna be 50 in August. I love it. I love her. Period, end of sentence.

Love you all. Peace.

Diva Report

This may be the gayest thing I've ever posted.

Oh...what the hell. Balls to the wall...swallow my pride...

I just found the most ridiculous blog. It's called Diva Report and, well, it basically keeps you up to date on all pop divas out there. It's at divareport.blogspot.com. I'm adding it onto my list of blogs to check out right there to your right and down a little...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------->>>

See it?

If this entry made you sigh uncomfortably, blush, or say "Oh! For shame, Jonny" as you shook your head, then completely disregard it.

Love you all. Peace out! Woo!

P.S.: Notice how Madge is at the forefront of all the diva's? Love it.

Silly me

I wrote a HUGE post yesterday and didn't even write about the results of my little experiment, which was my intention in the first place.

All in all, I got about 10 poops, pickles, and pompoms. I even got a justice and a donkey.

Thank you to everyone who participated! Now I know I have readers out there!

Love you all...see you later.

Madness!

Yeah, I know. I said I was gonna write yesterday but I didn't. Sorry. I'm sure that you will all get over it, though. Right? MmHmm. That's what I thought.

I have a lot to tell you guys so I'm gonna split this entry up into sections. Hopefully each of them will keep your eyes glued to the screen. Here we go!

Actor's Equity Association

My first professional job out of school was a wonderful 6 month tour around the U.S.A. of Roald Dahl's Willy Wonka with The Kennedy Center. Through this job I got my Equity card which allows me to slip right into Equity auditions for plays and musicals. It's fantastic. For some unknown reason people in this industry seem to look down on non-Equity actors. Well, at least that's how I felt. At the actual AEA building in Times Square where tons of auditions are held they have this horribly crammed little waiting area for the non-Equity actors. There are little benches (and I mean little) where everyone sits and waits...and waits...and waits. If an Equity actor doesn't show up to fill his or her slot then a non-Equity actor can audition. Chances of getting seen are usually slim to none. I've spent whole days at auditions waiting to audition without getting seen. It's pretty terrible and leaves you feeling awful. I mean, imagine waking up really really early, attempting to warm up your voice in the shower without waking your roommates, heading out without any time for breakfast, signing up for a slot to audition, finding out that the only slot open is waaaaaaaaaay down the list because there are already about 50 non-Equity people who woke up just a bit earlier than you did, constantly reconsidering your song or monologue choice, waiting all damn day, possibly leaving to eat lunch since you don't wanna lose your spot, then not even getting seen. Yup. It can be a little shitty. Plus, non-Equity actors are not allowed to use the Equity bathroom. They have to go use the bathroom at the McDonald's downstairs. (Side note: Why do I keep spelling Equity with a capital E? Whatever.)

ANYWAY. I got my Equity card through Willy Wonka so I don't have to deal with that stuff anymore. Well, actually, it took me awhile to actually get the card because you have a six month period from when you turn in your Equity information to hand over $400 in cash or check in order to get your card. Then you have a limited amount of time to pay for the rest of the card which is about $700. Yowza. When I finally had $400 to hand over I was ECSTATIC. They gave me a temporary card which is basically a little piece of paper and told me my real card was in the mail and would be with me in a month. A month passed and I hadn't gotten anything. I called my parents to see if the card had been sent home but it hadn't. Besides, they definitely would have called me if something had come for me from Actor's Equity.

So, a few days ago I went to AEA to see what was going on. I went up to the 14th floor and thankfully didn't have to wait in line to be helped. The same very kind lady that helped me last time was there which was nice since I'm pretty sure she recognized me. I told her what was going on and she looked up my info on her computer and almost immediately looked concerned. She gave me a couple perturbed 'Oh' and 'Oh No''s before I asked her what was going on. She then told me that since I had missed the deadline to pay the $400 dollars I now had to pay the remaining $700 to get my card. Shit. She also said that I shouldn't even have gotten the temporary card in the first place. Ugh. I asked her if there was any way to get another temporary card, but the answer, of course, was no.

Feeling absolutely helpless, I left AEA and went to meet my friend Saum for lunch. As soon as I got to his apartment, though, I got a call from AEA. I picked it up and immediately recognized the voice. It was the same woman I had just been speaking to. She asked if I would come back up to her desk so we could talk. Expecting the worst, I headed back to AEA.

Once I reached her desk I was pissed, depressed, and wet since it had just started raining. Perfect. I went up to her and simply stared at her; she then handed me a temporary Equity card. I stared at it and then asked, "What?" She told me that I now had a temporary card. Right after I had left she had called her boss and told him that I had missed the deadline by one month and asked if there was anything they could do for me. He told her to go ahead and give me my card; I had already paid my $400 and I guess he understood how hard it is for an actor in NYC to just fork over $700. Then she told me that I was now an official member of Actor's Equity and that my real card was in the mail. I was speechless. I could have kissed her. I thanked her profusely and made my mind up right then and there to buy her a HUGE bouquet of flowers. I also asked for her boss' card so I could call him and personally thank him. Then she said, "Go get that job!" I almost cried.

I headed out to an audition right after that. It was for a play called Substitution but as soon as I got to the audition room they told me that the only slot available was #117. Ha. No way. I guess I'll still have to wake up early.

I only got 4 minutes to save the world!

About a week ago the official first single from Madonna's new album Hard Candy was played on French radio. The song is called 4 Minutes (To Save The World). As soon as I heard that the song was out there I got right online and downloaded it. Unfortunately, I had to listen to it on the crappy computer at work. This is not the best place to listen to a song, or anything for that matter, because there's always people around and I shouldn't be listening to music while working, and also because the computer sound system sucks ass. But I HAD to do it. It's my Main Diva Bitch. The song needed to be listened to.

Before I get into the song let me just state that I like hip hop music. I like it a lot. But sometimes I feel it gets a bit repetitive. I feel like some of it has hardly any artistic merit and is thrown out into the world simply to make money. I know many people feel the same way about Madonna but I completely disagree with that. Of course she 's out to make money...I mean, that's how she makes a living...but to me she's a true artist. To some her music is repetitive and empty but for some reason it speaks to me. It's not just dance music to me. She got my attention when I was really young (way too young to be listening to her stuff) and I haven't stopped listening. Anyway, back to my point. Hip hop, if done right, can be really really powerful. Not just lyrically. Sometimes the beats are what are really impressive, and I am a BIG fan of a good beat. Madonna, like I said in an older blog, is working with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake among others. I love some of Timbaland's old stuff, like his music with Missy Elliott. It's very different, sexy, danceable, heavy, and fun. He also has the balls to work with people outside of the hip hop world, like Duran Duran, or lesser known artists, like M.I.A. He also did Justin Timberlake's last album which I thought was pretty good. Well, some of it, not all of it. Basically, I think the three of them together, if they really allowed themselves to be as innovative as possible, would be able to come out with something totally amazing and unheard of. Well.......

The song is pretty crazy. Not gonna lie, when I first heard it I wasn't too impressed. To be fair, the version I downloaded is basically a rough recording of the song and the French d.j. who illegally played it talks at the beginning and adds little hoots and hollers here and there because he's premiering the new Madonna single and he seems really excited...completely understandable. It's kinda sounds like a marching band with a beat. There's a lot of horns, lots of drums, lots of bass, it's pretty hot. But it's very today, which is something I don't expect from Madonna. She's ahead of the game. Even if she looks back to make disco music like she did on her last album, Confessions On a Dance Floor, it sounds different. It sounds very Madonna. This song, though, as cool and fun as it is, is definitely very now. That's not a bad thing, but I just hope she goes somewhere a little crazier on the new album. I've listened to the song tons of times now and am definitely a fan, but I'm gonna need more Madonna and just a little less Timbaland and especially a little less Justin. Sorry Justin! You're crazy hot but I like my Madonna just as she is.

Here's a taste of an upcoming magazine cover of hers. And, yes, I'm pretty sure those are Chanel boxing gloves. Apparently she's a boxer now. She such a bitch. I love her.
SheMan

First of all, the title of this section? Rude. Just plain rude. Being part of the LGBT community means I love and respect all members of the LGBT community.

But I'm still gonna tell this little story! HA!

The other night, Paul and I were heading back up to his place after a night out with Saum, my buddy from school, and some of Paul's friends. We had gone to a bar called The Dove where we had some absinthe and then gone to a diner for a quick bite before calling it a night. Absinthe, by the way, tastes like shit. Actually, it tastes like black licorice. UGH. Gross. And there's no damn Green Fairy or whatever...she doesn't exist.

Aaaaaaaaanyway, we were on the train talking and laughing and then in came......a"lady". I'm gonna call her she because even though she was most definitely a man, she obviously wants to be a lady, so to me she's a she. She was wearing the littlest black skirt, a tight black jacket, serious heels, and loooooooong shiny acrylic nails. She sat down right across from us and immediately went into diva mode. Since Paul and I were the only obvious gay couple on the train, I think she decided she wanted to show off for us a bit. She was absolutely preening.

Then, this very straight guy got on the train. He walked past her and, of course, ate her up completely with his eyes. He sat close to her and kept glancing at her. Like I said, her skirt was short as hell, and his eyes were glued to her thighs. She knew he was watching so she untied her hair and shook it out for him. Then she stretched her arm out toward him on the seat and clicked her nails....so strange. It was like a mating call or something. I couldn't help but laugh. She had him completely fooled. At the next stop, another guy got on. This one was a little less classy. He sat right next to her and couldn't take his eyes off her. She LOVED it. When she finally strutted off the train, the horny fool followed right after her. Insane. You never know, people, you never know.

Well, I mean, I know, but you never know.

Just kidding ;)

Last but definitely not least...

I saw Rosie O'Donnell at work yesterday. Crazy, huh?

I've kinda been tired of work at Chelsea recently because I always get night shifts. These shifts last from 3:30pm-11:30pm! Also, the night shift has so much more work than the morning shift. We have to set up all sorts of rooms for auditions and classes the next day. This includes setting up rows of chairs for auditions, occasionally pushing pianos all over the place, and clearing out rooms full of people who seem to have no idea that I am tired and wanna go home. Seriously, those damn salsa dancers who are there every night dancing away must wanna live at Chelsea or at least have a sleepover with me or something. It's ridiculous.

Anyway, seeing Rosie was pretty cool. It reminded why work there can be so great sometimes. U2 rehearsed there awhile ago; Ashanti apparently rehearses there (even thought I've never seen her); I saw Blake Lively from Gossip Girl and one of her gorgeous costars who sat down with me to read a newspaper for awhile (he was totally flirting); I've also seen Bebe Neuwirth, Chita Rivera, Brian Stokes Mitchell, Lillias White...lots of people!

They almost make up for all the blood, sweat, and tears I give to Chelsea Studios. Ha. Random.

That's enough for today, folks. My hands are tired! I just wrote a whole damn lot!

Love you all. See you next time!

RESULTS!!!

The experiment results will be coming soon! I promise!!! I have a day off tomorrow so I will definitely be writing an entry then.

Love you all.

A little experiment...

Just writing a quick note to everyone to apologize for not having written much over the past few days. I had a kinda crazy week. I was working a lot at Chelsea Studios and even though I could have very easily written a blog entry right at my desk I just didn't. Except for my fabulous Spice Girls and Madonna entries, of course! Hopefully those were enought to tide some of you over.

Onto something a tad more important...to me at least. I'm a little curious as to how many people actually read this blog so I wanna try a little experiment. Bear with me, ok? I know it shouldn't really matter who or how many people read this, but I'm just a little curious. Ok? Ok.

So, let's do this. Everyone pick up your phone and text me a word. A very simple word. Hmmm...how about pickle. Or poop. Or pompom. Got it? Any of those three words...pickle, poop or pompom. Just text me one of those words and I'll know that I've got readers out there somewhere. If those words are too silly for you just text me anything, I don't mind. If you can't text just call me or e-mail me or write a comment on my blog or whatever. If you can't do any of those, no big deal. I'm sure I'll be fine and I'll keep writing anyway ;)

Looking forward to hearing from you! Woo!

See you all later. Love and peace, people!